Monday, December 29, 2008

Resolution 2009

So, It's getting to be resolution time. The time of the year where I make a promise to myself to change something I don't like. Every year it's the same thing. Lose some weight, spend more time with my family and all of that. Each year I make these promises and each year I fail miserably at them, usually not making it out of the first two weeks before forgetting what I had promised myself I'd do. Yeah, I know it's sad. So this year I'm up for something new.

No more resolutions. I'm done with that. Why make a promise that I know I won't keep in the first place. Thats not to say that I'm not interested in changing my life for the better, it just means that I'm going to make a promise on January 1st and have that be the start of the rest of my life. Any day can be the start of something new, why wait until January 1st. It's never worked for me in the past, why would it work for me now. I do have plans though...I think.

My goal for 2009 in general is to just be healthier. This is my number one goal. For me, this trumps everything. Family, friends, wealth etc etc etc. None of those are as important to me as my health. Don't get me wrong, my family is always number one, hands down. But what good am I to them if I'm dead and buried by 37? All of those other things mean nothing if I can't be there to enjoy them, and thats why fixing myself is the most important.

Fourteen years ago when my oldest daughter was born, I weighed in at a whopping 230 pounds. And I said to myself at the time that I needed to get some of that weight off so that I can chase my kid around. 10 years later and I was up to 250 pounds. I can remember a trip to Tennessee when we went horse back riding and I was at the weight limit for the horses. I was thinking to myself that this poor horse is killing himself dragging my fat ass around the woods and that if I were him I'd just stop and not move another inch in protest. Thankfully he brought me out of the woods.

Now, four years later, I'm 100 pounds heavier. Whats going on? This year was a major disappointment for me. I started this year at 310. And while being conscious about what I was eating and doing, managed to gain 40 more pounds. I did some sessions with a nutritionist, learned what I should and shouldn't be eating. It's just not working. I know what I need to do, and how to do it. I just don't have the motivation. So maybe this blog will work. we'll see.